So tumbling down the chimney,
At Christmas ninety-four,
Came a gift from Santa Andy
A Rumanian three-quarter scale nylon-strung ENC20N Encore

He'd got one for his daughter
At least, that's what he said
But the present that he'd bought her
Found a home inside The Shed

(Twenty songs he'd written
He shared them out between us
We traipsed the length of Britain
Recording Apple Venus)

To help with inspiration
Was what he had in mind
A perfect education
For the musically inclined

I sat and strummed it daily
But the only useful tune
From my six-string ukelele
Was a track for Peter Noone

And so today it occupies
A corner of the room
Woe betide the man who tries
To keep the *%?! in tune
(I wish I hadn't started this....)

With a debt of inspiration to William McGonagall

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR PICKSURFERS